


thank you for listening

by twohourstraffic



Series: jack zimmermann vs buzzfeed [2]
Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Future Fic, Gen, Multimedia, Social Media
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-09
Updated: 2016-06-09
Packaged: 2018-07-14 01:39:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7146929
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twohourstraffic/pseuds/twohourstraffic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><b>Jack Zimmermann Swore At His Friend On Live TV Today and Then Spent Over An Hour Trying To Explain Himself On Twitter</b><br/>Posted on November 28, 2026 at 9:23 p.m.<br/>By Natasha Jones (Buzzfeed Staff)</p>
            </blockquote>





	thank you for listening

**Jack Zimmermann Swore At His Friend On Live TV Today and Then Spent Over An Hour Trying To Explain Himself On Twitter**  
Posted on November 28, 2026 at 9:23 p.m.  
By Natasha Jones (Buzzfeed Staff)

In case you missed it, Jack Zimmermann totally swore on live TV today. It was amazing. The captain of the Providence Falconers, 36, was stripping out of his gear after this afternoon’s game when he was distracted by something across the room. Not realizing that the news cameras were on him, about to start the customary live post-game interview, he mouthed something across the room a number of times before shouting profanities.

> **@natashajones  
>  ** Direct quote from @jackzimmermann after the game: “Shitty, you dick, put her down or I swear to fuck, I’m going to –” #zimmsgate
> 
> **@natashajones  
>  ** Cue him realizing that the cameras are on him. And live. #zimmsgate
> 
> **@natashajones  
>  ** Zimms looks vaguely apologetic. Falcs PR look flustered. Entire media corps trying not to lose their collective shit. #zimmsgate

He didn’t seem to notice his mistake until someone from Falconers PR came over and led him out of the room quickly. Needless to say, they quickly released an apology.

> **@FalconersOfficial  
>  ** We apologize profusely to anyone who may have been offended by Zimmermann’s conduct this evening. He was not aware that he was on camera.
> 
> **@FalconersOfficial  
>  ** We are taking appropriate actions.

Zimmermann did not reappear in the locker room while the press were still there, although he must have come back to shower at some point. This reporter saw Zimmermann’s husband, NYT columnist Eric Bittle, standing around looking bemused and talking to friends. Zimmermann and Bittle’s daughter Gabrielle, 3, was in the room as well.

We thought that was the end of it.

But, dear readers, the story was just beginning.

An hour or so later, Zimmermann’s official apology began to appear on Twitter. As everyone who has ever touched the internet knows, Twitter has a 140 character limit for Tweets. Zimmermann, typically a man of few words, must have taken some offence at this limit, because he proceeded to post over fifty Tweets explaining his side of the story.

Of course we wouldn’t leave you hanging, guys. Here, in all their glory, are those Tweets. We also included Zimmermann’s responses to any questions that he received. Enjoy.

 

> **@jackzimmermann  
>  ** I am so sorry to anyone that may have been offended by what I said after the game today.
> 
> **@jackzimmermann  
>  ** It was completely unprofessional and uncalled for. As the Captain of the Falcs, I should know better.
> 
> **@jackzimmermann  
>  ** @benrodriguez I know, and I’m sorry. And I’m about to address that.
> 
> **@jackzimmermann  
>  ** I’m also sorry to anyone who now has to have an uncomfortable conversation with their children.
> 
> **@jackzimmermann  
>  ** My daughter is usually watching my games, including the after-game coverage, and was in the room when it happened.
> 
> **@jackzimmermann  
>  ** Oh, and her father is not pleased with me.
> 
> **@jackzimmermann  
>  ** That kind of language has no place on the ice or in the locker room, whether or not I was aware that cameras were on me.
> 
> **@jackzimmermann  
>  ** It is my work environment and I shouldn’t have forgotten that.
> 
> **@jackzimmermann  
>  ** Because there are a lot of rumours flying around, I want to set the story straight on exactly what happened.
> 
> **@jackzimmermann  
>  ** As most of you know, today we were playing our first home game for a week and our first afternoon weekend home game for a while.
> 
> **@jackzimmermann  
>  ** As such, my husband/daughter/a bunch of my friends were in the crowd.
> 
> **@jackzimmermann  
>  ** The first period was really intense – the Maple Leafs weren’t giving us an inch. We were pushing as hard as we could but it wasn’t enough.
> 
> **@jackzimmermann  
>  ** We were 0-1 down at the end of the first.
> 
> **@jackzimmermann  
>  ** We get back to the locker room, the coaches give the boys a pep talk and run us through our strategy for the second period.
> 
> **@jackzimmermann  
>  ** We all know that we have to do more - the Leafs are always some of our strongest competition.
> 
> **@jackzimmermann  
>  ** So we get back onto the ice and start playing some offensive hockey.
> 
> **@jackzimmermann  
>  ** @natch Yeah, OK. Not offensive, I guess. But we were on the offense.
> 
> **@jackzimmermann  
>  ** @natch We were done playing defensively. It was time to get some good puck possession and change the score.
> 
> **@jackzimmermann  
>  ** My friend just phoned to tell me to ‘get on with it’. I think he means this explanation. Clarity is important, Holster.
> 
> **@jackzimmermann  
>  ** Anyway, the key to good story telling is setting the scene.
> 
> **@jackzimmermann  
>  ** @ericbittle I cannot believe you’re all ganging up against me. Leave me alone, I’m apologizing.
> 
> **@jackzimmermann  
>  ** @lardo ET TU?
> 
> **@jackzimmermann  
>  ** @lardo This is all your stupid boyfriend's fault.
> 
> **@jackzimmermann  
>  ** We’ve finally taken the lead (2-1) at the end of the second period. We’re all exhausted, but feeling good.
> 
> **@jackzimmermann  
>  ** It’s looking like this game might actually go our way.
> 
> **@jackzimmermann  
>  ** Home crowd is screaming, I can see my family and friends in the stands wearing our colours. We’ve got everything to play for.
> 
> **@jackzimmermann  
>  ** Third period, we just have to hold onto the lead. But then Toronto score and suddenly it’s 2-2.
> 
> **@jackzimmermann  
>  ** So now we have to pick it up again. The crowd is going wild, we don’t have any other option but to win.
> 
> **@jackzimmermann  
>  ** So we do. 4-2! We’re all excited but exhausted from that final push.
> 
> **@jackzimmermann  
>  ** I get to the locker room, dripping with sweat. I’m trying to get out of my pads and congratulate our scorers and stuff.
> 
> **@jackzimmermann  
>  ** AND THEN
> 
> **@jackzimmermann  
>  ** OUT OF THE CORNER OF MY EYE
> 
> **@jackzimmermann  
>  ** I SEE MY SO-CALLED BEST FRIEND LETTING MY THREE YEAR OLD STAND ON HIS HAND
> 
> **@jackzimmermann  
>  ** AND THEN HE STARTS HOLDING HIS HAND OUT SO THERE’S LITERALLY NOTHING TO CATCH HER IF SHE FALLS
> 
> **@jackzimmermann  
>  ** AND HIS GIRLFRIEND IS DOING NOTHING ABOUT IT
> 
> **@jackzimmermann  
>  ** NEITHER IS MY HUSBAND, WHO IS TALKING TO SAID GIRLFRIEND
> 
> **@jackzimmermann  
>  ** So I’m making hand gestures at him, trying to get his attention as best I can because, you know, her balance is amazing but she’s only three
> 
> **@jackzimmermann  
>  ** And I wanted him to put her down
> 
> **@jackzimmermann  
>  ** I get his attention and try to mime putting her down, and he grins?????
> 
> **@jackzimmermann  
>  ** And I’m stuck halfway out of my pads, one skate off and one on, so I can’t exactly get up and go over to him
> 
> **@jackzimmermann  
>  ** So I’m catching his eye, mouthing at him, and he clearly thinks it’s hilarious to endanger children
> 
> **@jackzimmermann  
>  ** And I can’t get my other skate off because the lace is in a ridiculous knot and I can’t undo it
> 
> **@jackzimmermann  
>  ** My husband has since gone off to get coffee with another partner, so I’m stuck solo parenting from across the room
> 
> **@jackzimmermann  
>  ** While my daughter is giggling, no idea that her life is in terrible danger.
> 
> **@jackzimmermann  
>  ** Seriously, she’s probably five feet off the ground at this point. If she had hit her head, it could have been BAD.
> 
> **@jackzimmermann  
>  ** Babies’ skulls aren’t fully fused until the baby is about three.
> 
> **@jackzimmermann  
>  ** @jessc92 Yes I know my daughter is three, but her brain is still growing. Anyway, falling five feet isn’t good for anyone.
> 
> **@jackzimmermann  
>  ** I try and call to my friend one more time, but he’s just blatantly ignoring me now. My daughter’s laughing, he’s laughing.
> 
> **@jackzimmermann  
>  ** So I yelled at him. Affectionately. And the cameras were on me. Live. And I didn’t realize.
> 
> **@jackzimmermann  
>  ** Also, Shitty is … kind of his name? So that part wasn’t swearing.
> 
> **@jackzimmermann  
>  ** Anyway, hopefully that clears some things up.
> 
> **@jackzimmermann  
>  ** I apologize again.
> 
> **@jackzimmermann  
>  ** Oh, and I take back that comment about my friend enjoying endangering children. He’s Gabi’s godfather and I trust him with her life.
> 
> **@jackzimmermann  
>  ** But I was very upset. And frustrated.
> 
> **@jackzimmermann  
>  ** Anyway, I’ve been sitting on the couch, explaining this story for the last hour, while my friends are talking in my kitchen.
> 
> **@jackzimmermann  
>  ** I guess I’d better go and socialize.
> 
> **@jackzimmermann  
>  ** Sorry again.
> 
> **@jackzimmermann  
>  ** The moral of this story: do not endanger a man’s child when he’s stuck in one hockey skate, surrounded by news cameras.
> 
> **@jackzimmermann  
>  ** Thank you for listening.

So ... yes. In the words of the man himself, thank you for listening.

And if you ever need to tweet yourself out of an awkward situation, please make sure you include as much extraneous information as is humanly possible.

**Author's Note:**

> Come say hi on [tumblr](http://murrayhewitt.tumblr.com) if you so desire.
> 
> Also [this](https://66.media.tumblr.com/4792f07e6d582281071b74ac2c4f2d03/tumblr_mxzmmzzwrb1r3h9f5o1_500.jpg) is what Shitty is up to with Gabi. Jack is far from amused. Bitty thinks it's adorable. There was probably a picture of it on his Instagram.


End file.
